


Sometimes it's better to go than to stay

by syredronning



Series: bridge2sickbay [6]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 20:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21398542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syredronning/pseuds/syredronning
Summary: "I can't sacrifice the present waiting for a future that may never happen."
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: bridge2sickbay [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542673
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	Sometimes it's better to go than to stay

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge drabble written for bridge2sickbay in 2009, rescued from Livejournal. All errors are mine.

Bones had waited five years. Three on the Academy, two on the Enterprise. He knew he was stupid, but sometimes love stole your brain.

He'd made a list of why he should stay at Jim's side anyway, when it was obvious that he'd never get what he really wanted, the dedicated relationship beyond their friendship and the nights shared for "recreational sex", as Jim called it.

He wanted it all, and he had been stupid enough to hope for Jim to change one day. But by now he was sure Jim never would - would never stop dating others, men or women; would never stop leaving him hanging, one way or the other. There was always something - or someone - else more important. How many nights had he stayed awake, listening to Jim's problems, trying to give advice; and how far and few had been the moments when Jim granted him the same dedication?

No; by now he knew all this would never change, and he was tired of it. Sick of it, even. For once he understood his ex. There was a point of no return, a point after which you stopped fighting for the things that were labeled with "should have, want have, could have", and started looking beyond them. Started to think how to break up, formulated the words in your mind, thought about the fitting situation in which any potential shouting afterwards wouldn't interfere with your work too much.

Heaven knows, this time he'd be the one to take the action. He wouldn't drag along in a situation that was slowly suffocating him until the other one would end it. This time, he'd be the one to walk away.

When he told Jim the next day, there was barely a blink; and he wasn't held back when he literally walked away, from the desk on which the PADD with his reassignment request lay. It was proof enough that it had been the right thing to do, but even though it was like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders with every step, it hurt like hell.

Maybe he should call Jocelyn in a few days - he suddenly understood her a lot better.


End file.
